


LOVESONG

by JanewayorNoWay



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 21:07:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20316025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JanewayorNoWay/pseuds/JanewayorNoWay
Summary: Sometimes, things just happen the way they're supposed to.





	LOVESONG

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank all of you who have encouraged me with your comments. Writing is very solitary and you get mired in hopelessness when you've started a story and you can't find the end, or even the middle. I have been working on HUMANITY this whole time. It will still be weeks before it's ready to post, but anyone who commented on any of my other works during the MONTHS I've been torturing myself over ever single beat and moment of HUMANITY (I have tossed out three different version that added up to PAGES and MONTHS of work because they just felt weak and like an easy out.) You should know that those random comments have always buoyed my spirits and made me go back to work to finish it. Sometimes, I need a break and I challenge myself to write some short piece that explores a different Janeway and a different Seven. Or I want to capture a mood and wonder if I have the skills to do that. It's just about trying to stretch. See what else I can explore. Like yoga, only for writing. I appreciate seeing the names of people who regularly like my work and/or comment. I see you. I'd like you back, but there's no option for such an acknowledgement so, just know, I'm aware and it means something to me.

The Captain wearily entered her quarters, it had been a long shift. As she unzipped her tunic, kicked off her boots, she thought of how close they’d come that day to yet another potential deadly encounter with a new species. Why was it that they were always so hostile when anyone strayed into their space? She’d tried diplomacy and when that failed, evasive maneuvers. When that failed, they’d had to face them and fight. God, she hated that. She was a scientist for god sakes, an explorer, not a war monger. Still, she never shied away from a fight if it was necessary.

She crossed to the replicator, grabbed a whiskey, downed it in one gulp and headed into her bedroom. She felt so bone weary, so loaded down with the responsibility she had laid squarely on her shoulders that she barely had the energy to slip into her nightgown. She headed to the ensuite and quietly brushed her teeth, used the laser tweezer to zap a few strays on her chin and examined her haggard face in the harsh lighting, “Good lord,” she whispered to herself. She crawled into bed and settled on her side. Pretty soon, she felt a familiar arm slide around her waist and pull her into spooning position.

“Are you alright, Kathryn?”

“Of course, honey. Just tired of this quadrant.” Seven lifted her head and nuzzled against Kathryn’s neck, “Perhaps you can take a personal day tomorrow.”

“I can’t. I’ve got crew reports to go over all day.”

“You work too hard. You take on too much. Not every task is your responsibility. You must learn to delegate. Even the Great Captain Janeway must rest on occasion.” Janeway turned in her lover’s arms and kissed her. “How do you put up with this crusty old starship Captain?”

“You are not crusty, Kathryn, nor old.” The Captain knew it irritated the young blonde when she engaged in self-pity. “Well, I feel it today. I didn’t think we’d make it.” Seven nodded, “You did very well. You know how much I love it when you get ‘bossy’ with the aliens.” Kathryn laughed. Seven had gotten that phrase from Tom Paris and immediately taken to it.

_It was true that Seven enjoyed when Kathryn squared off against unreasonable requests from unfriendly species. She’d told Janeway as much on their second date. “Despite your petite architecture, when you declare your intention to proceed, your mass seems to increase in size and density. It has always given me strange sensations.” _

Kathryn smiled. “I’m sure only you think that. The rest of the crew is probably tired of their Captain getting them into skirmishes with hostile aliens.”

“I can assure you I am not alone in my admiration of you, Captain.”

_Kathryn had been surprised at how naturally their relationship had come into being. It wasn’t any big moment, just a series of small movements toward a needed closeness. _

_She had been aware of her increasingly isolation and loneliness. She’d longed to have someone she could be her true self with. Seven was the only one who didn’t give a crap about her rank and never gossiped. It wasn’t conscious, Kathryn just began to trust Seven with her moments of doubt. She was surprised at the shift in Seven when she’d begun doing this. She’d been very protective, a good listener, her behavior toward her never changed. She still excelled in her duties, still argued over the Captain’s decisions._

_Seven had been surprised by her Captain’s behavior. There had been no one who had treated her as a confidante on Voyager except Naomi Wildman. The first time Seven saw Captain Janeway visibly distraught was in her quarters . They’d been talking about the death of a crewmember three weeks prior. Seven had asked if they’d had any family back in the Alpha Quadrant. “They do. Parents, and… a daughter…” Janeway looked down at her hands. “Lt. Harkoy’s wife died two years ago.” She looked back up at Seven, shrugged her shoulders, tears streaming down her face. “Sometimes, Seven… it’s just too much. It’s too much.” Seven didn’t know where her instinct to comfort had come from, but she reached out and held the Captain’s hands, her thumbs gently soothing her. “I apologize Captain. This is too painful. I should not have brought it up.”_

_Everything shifted after that. It seemed to be something both women understood. That something was happening between them and neither of them gave any thought to what it meant or if it was wrong. They just grew closer. _

Seven leaned in and kissed her. Their lips and tongues teased for long moments. They paused, stroked each other’s faces, kissed again, pulled close, wrapped arms around shoulders and waists, stroked backs and bottoms. It was a long, slow, quiet, fire. 

Eventually, they pulled back to look at one another. Seven asked her, “What mistakes do you falsely believe you made today?” This was what they did. They checked in with each other every night. They downloaded their day. No matter who worked a double shift and slumped into bed at an ungodly hour, the other woke up and they tended to each other’s concerns. 

“It’s not false.” The Captain replied. “I could have gone around this sector of space. I can’t keep putting my crew through skirmishes because I want to shave two years here, three years there.” 

“I do not believe the crew is upset about the times you have done this. It has resulted in being 40,000 lightyears closer to their home. Thus, logically, you have removed 40,000 lightyears of skirmishes.” 

“Well, when you put it that way…” They grinned at each other, “I guess I can let that worry go… for now.” 

“Acceptable.” 

These check-ins had been a gift for the Captain. It meant she could destress, talk over decisions, get gentle reminders that she needed self-care, and fall deeply asleep for a solid 4-6 hours. For the ex-borg, it gave her a place to be more human, to show doubt, to be tender. Something she did not feel comfortable doing outside their quarters. It made her braver in her explorations of her humanity. Allowed her a safe place to understand the conflicts between her Borg and Human nature. 

Kathryn yawned, “How did Icheb do on his first Starfleet exam?” 

“He did exceptionally well. He was quite pleased.”

“And you?”

Seven gave an annoyed sigh, “Yes, Kathryn I was pleased as well.”

“Did you tell him that?” 

“Of course.”

“Did you say you were proud of him?” 

She watched Seven blush. “I did not. ”

“Mh hm...” Seven hated that mh hm. She knew what was coming. “Would you say that your feeling of being ‘pleased’ was because you were ‘proud’ of him?” 

This was something they had been working on, at Seven’s request. She had come to Kathryn recently, extremely distraught over how the crew often misinterpreted her demeanor. “I am not cold because I have metal implants. It is merely that I express things concisely without extraneous detail.”

This had infuriated the Captain. Her first instinct was to throw them all in the brig for a good long stretch. Instead, she had gently coaxed the young woman into examining a way to reveal more of the Seven the Captain got to see. 

_Until they’d started dating, Kathryn had no idea that Seven could even genuinely cry. She was shocked the day Seven broke down in her Ready Room. _

_Janeway had been angrily pacing in front of her young Astrometrics officer, who stood, hands clasped behind her back, chin jutted in defiance. They’d been through a rough patch regarding command structure. “There is command structure on this ship because people’s lives are at risk. I am responsible for them. If one crewmember disregards orders, and I do nothing, it sends a signal that others are allowed to follow suit. I can’t allow that, Seven. I’m sorry, but this has to end.”_

_The Captain had only been meting out punishment to a crewmember. Seven misunderstood. She believed Janeway was ending their relationship. Her arrogance crumbled, she swung her hands forward and she wept into them, “Please do not do this…”_

_It had stunned the Captain. Her command mask completely abandoned her. She grabbed her young Astrometrics officer and, pulled her into her arms. “Honey, I love you. That’s never going to change. We had a disagreement as Captain and crewmember, that’s all that is.” That was the first time she’d said the words. They’d been seeing each other for six months. Seven immediately reciprocated. Janeway promptly postponed Seven’s punishment for 24 hours and notified the computer that she was taking a day of personal time. They took the turbolift to her quarters and relished in the tremendous good fortune of having found each other. The next day, Seven reported to Tuvok for 3 days of restricted duty._

“Yes,” Seven finally answered, her voice small and quiet. “I was proud.”

Kathryn laughed, “Are you embarrassed?!”

“It is not my achievement.”

“Sweetheart, when you care about someone, you’re proud because of their achievement.”

“This does not come naturally to me Kathryn. It feels false.” 

“You need to tell Icheb you’re proud of him.”

“I see, so these are ‘orders?’”

“No, my love. It’s encouragement. You came to me, remember? Upset about the crew… but, the crew wasn’t your main concern, was it?”

“No.”

“You were worried about Icheb and how he would integrate with a crew if he had these same problems.” 

“I wwished for Icheb to not have my same difficulties. He is like myself in that he holds in a great deal of emotion that he cannot express. I know the discord between human and Borg causes me great discomfort, confusion, sometimes… pain. And it prevents me from forming the casual bonds that are integral to human socializing. A career in Starfleet is important to him. I do not wish for him to encounter these same difficulties.”

“It was never really about the crew.” Kathryn said. Seven shook her head. “You care about Icheb.” Seven nodded. “You wanted to be an example.” Seven nodded again, tears forming. The Captain continued, gently. "Do you believe that you feeling ‘unnatural’ in expressing your pride in Icheb is greater than your desire to show him genuine affection?”

“No.”

“Then I think you have your answer.”

“I love you.”

“Oh, honey, I know. Believe me, I know more than anyone else how loved I am by you.”

_At some point in their growing friendship, it became clear to the Captain that it had blossomed into something more. She didn’t stew over it. She promptly exited her ready room and made her way to Astrometrics to ask Seven on an official date. She had no plan so, she shouldn’t have been surprised when she got a sudden burst of last-minute nerves._

_“Captain? How may I assist you?”_

_“Uhh… Just… checking on how close the next M class planet is. I’d like to restock on supplies and let the crew get some shore leave.”_ _Seven’s face twisted into confusion. “The report is on your desk, in your ready room, Captain. Per your request yesterday.” _ _Kathryn was mortified. She’d completely forgotten she’d done that. “Ah. Well done then. I’ll take a look.” _ _Seven nodded and turned back to her console, leaving Kathryn standing, uncertain of how to proceed. “Um... Seven, I’m actually not here about an M class planet.” S_ _even turned around, clasped her hands behind her back, cocked her head, “What are you here about, Captain?” _ _Just then Lt. Ayala entered and crossed to another console. _

_Long moments passed as Seven’s confusion increased. Why was The Captain acting in this strange manner? Finally, Janeway spoke, “Lt. Ayala, could you give Seven and I a minute here? You’re dismissed for lunch.” Ayala nodded. “Of course, Captain.” As soon as he’d exited Janeway ordered the doors sealed. “Seven, I think you know why I’m here and you’re being deliberately obtuse.”_

_“I promise you Captain, I do not know your—" _

_“I came here to see if you’d be interested in going on a date.”_

_“You have someone in mind?”_

_Kathryn gave an exasperated sigh, “Me. You idiot.”_

_Her favorite thing about that moment had been the look of realization dawning on Seven’s face. How the ex-Borg instinctively reaching out to take her hand, how Janeway could feel Seven’s stuttering pulse through her fingers, resting on her wrist. She pulled Seven to her and they kissed. Their first kiss. It was short and rather chaste, but it lit them both on fire. “Yes.” Seven simply said._

Seven brushed hair out of Kathryn’s face, placed her hands on either side and tenderly smoothed her cheeks with her thumbs. “Why are you so beautiful?” 

“Sweet talker.” 

“I am borg. I am incapable of engaging in ‘sweet talk.’ I merely state facts.” 

“I’m glad you think I’m beautiful. That’s all that matters to me.” 

They lay quietly a beat. “What do you falsely believe was a mistake you made today, Seven?”

“I believe I overloaded the warp drive during a test of the plasma relays.”

“Is that when we went dead for—”

“Nine point four two seconds. Yes.”

The captain grunted, “Well, I’m sorry, but that was a mistake.” 

“I agree. Unlike you, I do not falsely believe I make mistakes. I make mistakes and I do not make mistakes.”

“That must be nice for you.” 

“It is.” 

_As their dates added up and the kissing grew into longer sessions, it was clear that the inevitable was rapidly approaching. On the day it dawned on Kathryn, she made another trip to Astrometrics, dismissed Lt. Ayala and turned to her Astrometrics officer. “Are there any M class planets nearby for an exploratory away trip?”_

_“I believe so, Captain. What will you be exploring?”_

_“You.”_

_She watched Sevens shoulders drop, saw her ears pull up and back. She was smiling. “How many days will that require?”_

_“At least three.”_

_“I believe I can locate a suitable planet for just such an expedition... Kathryn.” And they’d stood there, Seven grinning up at her view screen, rapidly scanning planets, the Captain grinning at the long, elegant neck she hoped to soon bury in kisses. _

_Janeway kept true to her promise. They did nothing but lie in the shelter pod for three days, getting to know each other. Seven was astounded at what she described as an “explosion of sensations” she’d never experienced. Things Kathryn had tried to explain many times, simple human things that she had no concept of until she’d experienced them. Need, want, love. She felt her human side make its presence known. _

Seven took a deep breath. She was about to plunge into difficult territory. “The doctor has apprised me of the fact that you are three weeks late for your physical.” She was answered with a growl. “Do not growl at me, Kathryn…” 

“Okay, I’ll go! Next week.” 

“Insufficient. You will go tomorrow. I will accompany you if you are afraid of the Doctor.”

Kathryn snorted, “I’m not afraid of the Doctor. Besides, I don’t have time tomorrow. I have to go over the crew reports.” Seven gripped the older woman’s arms firmly. “That is unacceptable. You agreed to take better care of your physical wellbeing because you are not young—"

“You said I wasn’t old!”

“You are not, and you are also not young and I need you to take care of this body so that I may make love to it for many years to come.”

“Oh my god. Seven, that is sweet talk.” 

“No…”  
  
“Yes, it is. That is the definition of sweet talk. And you said you didn’t even know how to do it.”

Seven shrugged, “It is only sweet talk if it works.” 

Kathryn turned her head and gave a command, “Computer, schedule an appointment for me with the Doctor tomorrow at 0800 hours.” She turned back to Seven’s smug grin. “Wipe that look off your face. Never be smug when it works, it’s not attractive on you.”

“I am not smug. I am proud of your achievement. Because you are a person I care about.” 

“Is this what tonight’s going to be about? You’re just going to throw my words back at me?” She seized Seven’s face and pulled her in for a series of sloppy kisses, “God I love you.” Seven hated when Kathryn did this. She squished the poor Astrometrics Officer’s face then fiercely planted wet kisses all around it. “Kathryn… stop...” When the Captain did not cease her actions, Seven quickly overpowered her and flipped her underneath. She grinned at the look of shock on Janeway’s face. “Seven!” Seven immediately regretted it, “Have I damaged you?”

“No, no. I had no idea you could do that.” 

“Did I frighten you?” This earned a long, quiet beat, “No…” replied the Captain, a little surprised. “I didn’t know you could overpower me like that…” She flung her arms around her young lover. Seven could feel her body trembling, “Kathryn, I apologize, I meant it in fun. I would never hurt you. Never.”

“No, no… it’s not that.” She gripped Seven tighter. Seven could hear her shaky breaths. “It’s that I didn’t… I wasn’t…” she teared up… “I didn’t even tense up. I felt completely safe. That’s what shocked me. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so safe with anyone.” 

She was not in charge, she did not need to be in charge. She was and always would be safe in Seven’s arms. Apparently, she was capable of a level of trust she’d been completely unaware was available to her. Here she was at the age of 46 and a virgin to this level of intimacy.

Seven fervently pressed her lips to Kathryn’s, “You are safe with me always.”

“I know. I love you so much.”

They moved together then, understanding a barrier had somehow peeled way. They were unusually quiet, focused on only the sound and sensation. The room was a rustle of sheets against skin, palms against bellies, tongues exploring wet skin with deft familiarity. 

_Two months ago, after their last exceptionally quiet session, Seven had asked, “What is a lovesong?”_

_“Where did you hear that word?” Kathryn was confused about the question coming from Seven out of nowhere."_

_“Tom Paris said he and B’Elanna have a lovesong.”_

_ “Ah," the light came on for Janeway, "It’s a special song that a couple believes best expresses their love for one another.”_

_“What does it sound like?”_

_Kathryn laughed, “There are thousands of them, Seven.”_

_“There is not one singular song that describes love?”_

_“No, sweetheart. They are a genre of songs.”_

_“What must a lovesong contain?”_

_“Well," Kathryn pondered, "it should have a pleasing sound, it should inspire great feelings of connection to your loved one and the lyrics that accompany the music would express the depth or meaning of a couple’s feelings for each other in a way that is profound.”_

_Seven thought for a moment, “Can the lyrics be ‘I love you?’”_

_“Yes. Sometimes lovesongs contain those words.”_

_“I know what our lovesong is.”_

_“You do? I can’t wait to hear it.”_

_“You have already heard it. It is this.” Seven indicated the two of them lying in bed post-coitus. “This way in which we are intimate when we have mutually traversed a significant milestone in our intimacy. Although quiet, it is filled with pleasing sounds; the rise and fall of our breathing, the sheets moving against your skin is like music…”_

_“And the lyrics?" Kathryn asked her._

_“You whispering ‘I love you’ as we make the pleasing sounds. That is our lovesong."_

Hours later, Kathryn was on one elbow, drawing lazy circles on Seven’s sternum. “I need more of this,” she said. 

“As do I,” Seven murmured.

“I work too much.”

“You do.”

“I need to delegate more.” 

“I approve of these thought processes.”

Kathryn tilted her head up, “Computer, log myself and Seven of Nine off duty for 24 – no – 48 hours personal time… and move my appointment with the Doctor to 1600 hours. Assign crew reports to….” she looked at Seven. 

“Lt. Om’Ron. Bajoran, capable, and efficient.” 

“Lt. Om’Ron,” The Captain repeated.

Kathryn had been surprised at how good they were together. On the bridge, during work hours, Seven was as prickly and arrogant as ever, difficult to keep in line, defiant of command structure. But, in their personal life… they didn’t fight, they didn’t add up each other’s wrongs, they weren’t stingy with apologies or forgiveness. In the year they’d been together, they hadn’t had one major personal argument. Well, once. Early in their relationship. Seven had snapped at at the redhead after she’d had been particularly uncommunicative, stomping around their quarters like a bear. Seven bluntly told the Captain that she’d better shape up, “Or you will ruin something extraordinary.” Kathryn heard her. She was right. She needed to hold herself to a higher standard with Seven. She was special, she didn’t want to lose her. She wasn’t allowed to stew in the dark anymore or to dismiss Seven’s concerns about her stress levels. This was the woman who loved her, Janeway had no right to shut her out. So, she did as instructed, she shaped up.

All the years she’d worried about her command authority, having love when many in her crew might never, what she could not do, who she could not be, how she could never… and, in the end, somehow, they’d found each other and it had all unfolded so effortlessly.


End file.
